How to talk to your cat about weight gain

Look the cat in the eye. Take a deep breath (though this can just make the cat nervous that you’ve about to say something that they don’t want to hear. In fact, that may be true). Then, say the words that you need to say: “I’ve gained a lot of weight. It’s not your fault. You’re beautiful. And I’m still beautiful. I hope you enjoy pressing my rolls in and out.”

The cat may look away, lick itself, or say nothing. No matter what it does, know that you’ve done the right thing.