Thoughts on the eve of getting the vaccine

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow on April 10th, 2021, my partner and I are going to get one of the three widely available vaccinations for COVID-19. It will be the Johnson & Johnson version, which is one shot instead of two like the Moderna and Pfizer. It will be at noon, in Quincy, IL, which is not in Chicago, and not in Cook County. It is five hours away. We are traveling this far even though we will be eligible for a vaccine in Chicago in about a week because:

1. We made the appointment a week ago, when the vaccination information was different.
2. We are doing a slight social good by getting the vaccine somewhere that is suffering from oversupply rather than Chicago, which is suffering from undersupply.
3. We found a tiny house to stay in about an hour away from Quincy, and are turning it into a small vacation.

We will be considered “fully vaccinated” two weeks after receiving the vaccine. And then what? It is about a year and a month since we first had the stay-at-home order. Over a year and a month since I last went on an airplane. We have gotten somewhat used to a somewhat quiet life here in our apartment that could really be anywhere, with some virtual hangouts and occasionally (very occasionally) meeting up with very small groups of friends.

There are some things that I want to keep, moving out of the COVID-era, like regular virtual contact with close groups of friends who are distributed. Like not flying somewhere every weekend and actually getting to spend some time in the neighborhood that I live in. Like reading paper books and playing guitar and doing this blog.

And then there’s so much more that I want. I want to be in groups of people. I want those people to care about me and I want to care about them. I want to perform for people, all eyes on me. I want to make them laugh. I want to sing with others, work out with others. Humans—we were not meant to live alone! And I do not want to live alone.

It is a bit scary to think of the post-COVID era. What will happen? Will we forget all of the horrors of 2020 and, oh right, there was an attempted coup in 2021? Will we forget our hard-earned lessons? What were the lessons? Will there be people who want to know me and care about me? Or will we reach out our hands and find there is no one reaching back?

We cannot know yet. And we cannot know unless we try. So we shall try. And we shall try to remember, and we shall forget. And then, we shall remember again. Maybe when the next pandemic happens. Hopefully before.