Some thoughts on turning 30

On Saturday I turn 30. My sisters are also turning 30, because we are triplets and we do that kind of thing together. So, collectively, we’re turning 90.

A quote that I’ve loved for a while now continues to be relevant:

“And now, Siddhartha, what are you?” “I do not know, any more than you do. I am on the way. I was a rich man and am no longer. What I will be tomorrow, I do not know.”

-Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse

In the past 10 years, I had 14 different jobs, lived in five different cities, got zero tattoos, and went to Vegas once.

I pursued writing, then marketing, then comedy and writing, then software engineering.

I bought a stuffed teddy bear for myself when I was 27 and accidentally agreed to having it gift-wrapped.

I have friendships that have lasted, now, for longer than this past decade.

I have gotten lost, gotten found, and gotten lost again.

I went for a whole week without shitting. (Not on purpose)

It seems I have been so many different people. What’s the same? What is different? What is the me under this increasingly collagen-poor skin? What do I retain of who I was? What will I retain of who I am? Who am I becoming? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?

I don’t know.

As I looked back on the past 10 years by paging through the weeks of my Google calendar, I was encouraged that so many wonderful things had happened that I could not have predicted. The world continues to get bigger. Possibilities continue to expand. Google continues to know and understand more about me than even it can know and understand.

We know more now than we have ever known before, as a group of humans on the earth. I know more now, as a group of cells, than I have ever known before. And I don’t know what’s coming next. I don’t know who I’m going to be, and I like that, and I also hate it. But either way, it doesn’t matter how I feel about it, because it’s true.

But maybe I can make some predictions. It seems likely that I’m going to keep wanting to make people laugh (and laugh along with them), keep wanting to write, keep wanting to art, and keep on hoping somewhere somehow I can bring people together and make our little hell hole a better place.

For those out there who are also on the way — I am sending you a ❤️ emoji. In this ❤️, there is an actual slice of my fast-aging 30-yr-old heart. Please be gentle with it.

Also here are some goddamed lists about the last 10 years because I so fucking love them.

From the past 10 years …

Things I’ve learned:

• No matter how it is, it is not always going to be like this.
• You rarely know when it’s the last time.
• How late you stay out is not an indication of how much fun you are having.
• It’s OK to change your mind. Many times.
• It does matter what you study in college.
• Cats are OK.
• College is a type of real life. But it is very different from the type of real life many people have after college.
• Living alone is awesome.
• Sometimes special things happen but you don’t know how special they are until later.
• It’s OK to not be OK.
• Things do not happen for a reason.
• Losing your faith is painful, but it does not kill.
• Sometimes, life is not fun.
• Quitting is sometimes the right choice. Corollary: sometimes, doing nothing is the right choice too.
• Improv can be so so so much fun.
• Turning a fun hobby into a career makes the fun hobby a lot less fun.
• Things you thought would never happen, will happen.
• Things you thought would obviously happen, will not happen.
• “Follow your passion” is usually bad advice.
• If you’re not shitting, it makes focusing on other things very hard.
• Acne is not just for teenagers.
• It’s best not to hold onto dreams that don’t fit anymore.
• But keep the ones that do.

Things I’ve learned but keep on forgetting:

• Permanent and complete failure is not around the corner.
• It is OK not to know. It is OK to be wrong. It is OK to make mistakes. It is OK, it is OK, it is OK.
• It’s never too late to keep making mistakes.

An abridged list of some things that I’ve done:

• Been in a Christmas Pageant
• Had dermatitis around my eye.

An abridged list of things that I have not done:

• Saved the world.

Presidents:

• Obama.
• Trump.

# of roommates I’ve had:

• 25

Things that have stayed the same:

• I write a lot.
• I doodle.
• I put a lot of things in my Google Calendar.
• I love singing, loudly.
• I love making people laugh.
• I love trees.

Things that have changed:

• I am no longer obsessed with breakfast food.
• I drink coffee black.
• I know what a software is now.

Electronics I’ve owned:

• Dell Inspiron Laptop
• Nokia brick phone
• Samsung Galaxy smart phone
• Iphone
• Ipad
• Ipod
• MacBook air
• MacBook pro
• Nook

Jobs I’ve had:

• Cleaning lady
• Caterer
• Medical guinea pig
• Babysitter
• Content specialist for Egyptian Talent Agency
• Restaurant host
• Marketing “specialist”
• Internet writer
• Internet article editor
• Food tour guide
• Ghost ebook writer
• Software engineer
• Ghost writer
• Dinner detective actor

# of jobs I’ve applied for:

• Over 200

# of domiciles I’ve lived in:

• 15

Countries I did not travel to:

Everywhere except for:

• Morocco
• Spain
• Germany
• France
• Hungary
• Slovenia
• Croatia
• Mexico
• Egypt
• Turkey
• Italy
• Ethiopia
• Netherlands

# of siblings who have gotten married:

• 2/3

# of times I’ve gotten married

• 0