The most dangerous games that I play
September 10, 2020
- Has this sauce cooled enough to where it won’t scald my mouth when I eat it straight out of the pot, because I love eating things out of large containers, especially if they’re warm?
- Will my partner bite me because I’ve caused him too much physical pain?
- Will I be able to get another cup of coffee and go to the bathroom in two minutes so I can join this virtual meeting in under 60 seconds and thus not technically be late?
- Can I leave this household item in a semi-public space even though it might make an appearance on a video call when I’d really rather it not?
- Can I have an almost completely sedentary lifestyle and still eat cookies every night and not get fatter?
- Online gambling.
- Just kidding about that last one.
- How much can I talk about QAnon with my family before I accidentally convince one of them to look it up and then they become an adherent?
- How many minutes late can I be to a Zoom brunch with my parents-in-law-to-be without them asking questions about why?
- Can I eat pistachios as a pre-lunch snack and a dinner snack and still have enough pistachios to last throughout the week for our lunchtime salads?
- How much cookie dough can I eat off of the pre-made break-and-bake cookie dough sheets before my partner notices?