Fun weekend plans for a pandemic

1. Sleep in as late as possible and see what kind of incremental difference you get in your Fitbit Sleep Score, which is clearly a scam but also one of the most interesting and non-threatening things about life right now.
2. Try to be a little less sad this weekend. Notice the flowers. They’re not sad, are they? Sure, they would be if they had the ability to feel, but they don’t.
3. Go on a long bike ride. No matter what direction you go in, things there are bad too.
4. Weekends lack the structure of M-F, which can facilitate emotional breakdowns. If you think you’re going to have one, try doing it earlier in the weekend so you can have the rest of the weekend to forget that you had a breakdown.
5. Play video games for 8 hours.
6. Go grocery shopping and get into a fight with your partner that’s actually about COVID stress.
7. Have a virtual hangout with a friend that leaves you feeling very exhausted but slightly more connected.
8. Hang out in a park and wonder where everyone is getting their portable tables.
9. Read the news and become absorbed in the certainty of the obvious doom of … possibly everything.
10. Try a new recipe! That’ll probably be fun and not also feel overwhelming like everything else.

It’s going to be a great weekend! See ya back on the hamster wheel Monday.